Sac seems easier to get into Napa than Santa Fe

See if f there is a race at Sears Point.

Napa and Calistoga are great and all but you should also check out Mendocino County if you go, much less pretentious

And Castella Di Amorosa outside Calistoga is pretty cool.

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SMF is much less of a shitshow than SFO.

You can stop at the Kuiu store in Dixon on your drive.

When we’d go with friends, we would rent a limo.  The driver would call ahead to reserve us tastings and we wouldn’t have to drive.  Don’t forget Sonoma too.

I’d also explore north along the coast…it’s pretty damn gorgeous.

There's a little Mexican market in the parking lot near the goodwill store in Napa. Whenever I go to Napa I always make sure I stop in to get a torta. Take a look:
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I don't drink, but we stay at a resort place in the middle of wine country anyways. It's nice to take a break, wear white robes, and watch TV in the bathtub for a few days.

Some of my must-visits in CA:

Robert Young
Alpha Omega
Paul Hobbs
Joseph Phelps
Caymus
Stag's Leap (if you can do a dining experience, otherwise nice view, etc. but not necessarily a must-visit)

Tons of places with great views, etc.  It's hard to go wrong.

Was there 6 months ago and a lot of wineries are by appointment  only so you need to book ahead. Several of the biggest aren't open at all. Opus isn't open at all or weren't when we were there. We had an amazing visit at Silver Oak. Probably tasted 6 or more vintages from them dating back to the early 2010's. Complimentary cheese parings.

I have been to Napa a few times and plan on returning this fall.
As for food in the city of Napa
Winston’s is great for breakfast.
il Posto is a good Italian place that doesn’t get to busy.
Coles chop house has great food and good cocktails.
Winery’s to visit is a bit harder and depend on a few factors.
Hendry winery and Truchard are both in Carneros and have large selection of wines to choose from.
Del Dotto is a fun tour if you want to get drunk.
Smith-Madrone has great scenery and a fun drive.
Matthiasson is close to Napa and has a relaxed vibe and great wine.
In my experience it’s better to stay away from the larger producers.

Wife and I were planning a Napa trip for my 40th birthday last year, but then we found out she was pregnant, so it never happened.  Anyways, this is what I found out while doing some research.  

1. B&Bs and/or boutique style hotels in the valley are VERY EXPENSIVE and probably already booked up for the summer.  I'm talking like $1000 a night type of places.  

2. Cheaper options are in the city of Napa, but you would now have a decent drive to get to any of the vineyards.  If you go this route, definitely hire a driver for the day.  

3. All of the well-known vineyards require a reservation in advance.  Yes, just for a tasting.  

4. Most places will comp your tasting fee if you buy a bottle(s).  Might as well buy a case or 2 and ship it home.

5. Plan on 2-3 vineyards a day.  Nothing more.  

6. Harvest season is peak season for Napa which is roughly August to October.  Would recommend going before that.

It's been years since we were there, but if you head up to Yountville, check out Hill Family Estate. We joined their club and had their wines shipped east for years, until the RI legislature made it too much of a PITA.

What is your level of wine geekery?
Commercial tours/tastings will be a little.. unfulfilling. Fun for sure, but for what it costs to stay in Napa, you want better.
The elite small boutique wineries do private tours and tastings, but you have to be currently on the mailing list to arrange those.
The bigger ones do private tours rarely. Again, you have to have some "in".
Now in between, there are the working growers and vintners who make some fine stuff but it isn't allocated enough to shut out non mailing list customers from requests.

For instance, in the late 90's I made an appointment with Jerre Sears of Black Sears Vineyard. He was a farmer, but the Turleys made him famous for the Zinfandel he grew there.
Think uber black jammy loaded with spicy flavor Zin, not the pink stuff which isn't even really zin.
He showed me the vineyard, gave me a lot of grower info and history, and then we drank Zinfandel in our dirty jeans on the tailgate of his pickup in the vineyard. Very cool.

So if there is some wines you really like from Napa, give those wineries a call (Or the owner of a vineyard who sells to a winery that bottles them that you like) and have some enthusiasm and knowledge of their products, and you just might luck out and schedule a few private tours/tastings. Those are free too, they do it for the P.R. WAY more memorable than the public tours.

I was really into that scene in the 90's and early 00's, and got some great private tours.

Noice! A WSET cert. Way more effort than many put in.
Now, I'm the kinda guy that would contact that vineyard and set something up. While talking to them, I would ask them for nearby recommendations
where a private or very small tour might be possible.
Then I'd do a little research, call those places, and name drop shamelessly. "So and so recommended you and I would love to come visit".
Male wine whores know no bounds. There is no step too steep to stoop. I bullshitted my way onto many a very tightly allocated cult list.
Release your inner Napa Whore. No matter how desperate you seem, they've seen WAY worse.