That's not a good attitude to take. People are living longer now, it's ok to go ahead can call it a mid-life crisis.

I met a retired helicopter pilot in Philosophy class who also said that he struggled to find something mentally stimulating and socially engaging after retiring so he started taking college classes for fun.  He always had a different take on things vs my peers.

That is some real truth.  I have witnessed the same thing.  A lot of men think it is 'selfish' if you actually enjoy your life and you aren't a dutiful servant to wife and kids to the point of completely sacrificing yourself.  You can see these guys when they tell others who haven't had kids: "YOU ARE SELFISH AND BADDDDDDDD!"  They thought they needed to sacrifice it all and now they are starting to realize that wasn't the best choice.   Instead of correcting their own paths they get angry at others who are living the life they wish they had.  You are hurting yourself and your wife and kids if you live like a sacrificial lamb putting them on a pedestal.

Same.

Only problem with trying to have one now is that we are responsible for my 90 YO mother. It's dragging us down in ways I never imagined, especially being able to go and do those things we put off.

SO is also taking care of GrandKid #1 (her choice) as well which I think is just an additional burden and I worry  about her burning out.

So I guess I'm in the sandwich part of life. Currently it's a shit sandwich.

Pussy, Porsche or Corvette, hair transplants and road trips/move to the beach.

Ha I’m even worse. I sacrificed 17 years of my life and countless hours of overtime for my ex wife and step kids. I worked myself nearly to death to make sure they were all taken care of.

About 15 minutes after the kids were out of the house and doing well she filed for divorce. She also took half of my 401k and “maintenance” that’s what Colorado calls alimony. Now the kids that I raised won’t speak to me. I have trained my brain to go from sad to pure anger. It’s just easier that way for me. Fuck all three of them.

I now spend my time and money going to Vegas to play craps and learning to fly airplanes.

My father spent his entire life busting his ass to provide for us and had big plans of retiring and doing cool shit.

Then he retired and died.

I learned from that and have done everything I ever really wanted to do by the time I was 40.

I'm 64 now, retired, and can't think of much else to get midlife crisisy about.

Men get a sports car, women get new tits and a divorce?

If I missed having one the first time around, when will I be too old to have one?

I bought a jacked up F250 brodozier because I knew if I bought a vette or a mustang I'd kill myself....

Yeah, that's part of it. We all kind of had an vision or plan for our future, more or less for different aspects of our life (family, career, financially). Of course it morphed as we aged and maybe matured. And people hit a point when they realize that they accomplished those "dreams", or need to make an adjustment to get there, or maybe they decide they won't ever accomplish them for so many reasons. So some end up depressed, some get driven, some celebrate and spend, or some combination.

I really don’t believe there is such a thing. I don’t understand why people attribute every day actions to a midlife crisis.

A 30 year old buys a motorcycle, a center console or sports car and it’s “NICE dude!”

A 65 year old buys a motorcycle, a center console or sports car and it’s “poor fellow, he’s having a midlife crisis.”

Well, I didn't plan it that way, but I guess mine was GWOT.  I was a municipal police officer.  Went back to college.  Graduated from law school, passed the bar at 40 and joined the USAR Jag .  Then a few years later I went back in AD for Iraqi Freedom, retired from the PD.  Spent a few more years on mob, 3 trips to AFG, and sort of stayed till I got MRD.

I started having joints replaced, I guess that counts as a midlife crisis.

Bought a hunter/jumper horse at 52. Best purchase I ever made. He kept me in shape and was a great stress reliever.

Im 80 and have never had a mid-life crisis. I’ve been too busy.

Damn dude that’s really fucked up especially with the kids being grown.  

There should be zero expectation for a woman to maintain any semblance of her former lifestyle after a divorce when there are no minor children at home.  

Any tips on how to survive until 80 in this fucking circus?

Yeah, and the middle part of life is just a grind.

Gotta break the monotony somehow.

Lots of good wisdom in this thread and in this post particularly.

I don’t think the “mid life crisis” gets the attention it deserves psychologically. We ridicule it rather than live a life full of experiences and memories the best we can.

I’m close to 50 and I guess whatever “crisis” we (my wife) both are going through has been positive.  She quit big tech corporate and is starting her own business.

I retired early to work the family ranch as my parents are slowing down.  Always expected to but not this early.  It’s my dream job.  Love every minute of it.  Had an excuse to buy new big chain saw so I guess that’s the extent of wild and crazy for me.

Lucky for me my wife looks a good eight to ten years younger than she is and hasn’t changed personality wise since we got married.

Don’t buy a Jeep. Trust me.  I own one.   The project isn’t what you want as a mid life crisis unless you’re starting it this year.   You’ll dump some money into it and realize you don’t enjoy it. When you try to sell it for what you have into it you’ll be laughed at because no one wants your project for what you paid.


Buy a UTV and keep it for 5 years. Do this sooner than later so you can enjoy it. Otherwise you’ll be too cheap and not buy what you want.

I don't get mid life crisis, but I see them happen. I'm 44, married with 2 kids. I don't have time to have any extra stuff going on. I'm also extremely un-vain, so I'm not looking to improve my appearance.

On the other hand, I have a coworker that is a 45 year old female that is definitely going through a midlife crisis. She has lost a lot of weight and is obsessed with losing more (with little room to lose). She also is very focused on appearance. I think she is trying to keep up with her 18 year old daughter.

I have another coworker that is a male in his late 40's. He's going through a divorce and is definitely seeking attention from much younger women. I would say it is a form of midlife crisis as well.

I don't know what triggers these actions, but they definitely happen. I lean more towards aging as it comes and rolling with it.

Guys finally get to a point that they can afford that really cool sports car they wanted in their youth and now they can try to relive that youth. I think that's part of it.

I've been thinking about this lately. When I was 45 I started hitting the gym and lifting weights with my sons. About 7 months in I started TRT, at 11 months I added a smidge of Deca. I'm 46 now and will turn 47 in a few months. I'm stronger than I've ever been my whole life. I started hitting the tanning bed at the gym.

What the fuck?

We used to do the Jeep thing before kids, it got to where I enjoyed building them more than actually wheeling them. I figured it would be fun to buy one and do a tub off job on it. 1 ton axles, some kind of weird engine swap and a dovetail bed. My issue with that is shop space, so I have to get my other shop built first, then I can tackle it.

My other idea though, and I might go this route, is to get a WRX or Impreza and do a suspension lift and frame drop, chop the body enough to fit some 31's under it, probably put some heavy duty axles on it, and mess around with it until I destroy it.

Depends on the Jeep. Getting into CJs is own the best things I’ve done as far as an enjoyable an automotive hobby. You couldn’t melt anything newer than an TJ and pour it on me.

A UTV does absolutely nothing for me. Absolutely obnoxious and uninteresting.

Sounds same for me… 41 been working since middle school bc both of my parents didn’t want me sitting around. Hadn’t done anything drastic yet, almost bought a Porsche, or another fancy car but realized it wouldn’t do the job. I think I’ve become more of a hermit now really.

I watched a lady in her 40s start acting like a teenager. It was sad since she wasn’t attractive at all, but she decided to act like the popular girl on prom night. Another really weird thing she did was when she came across viral videos or pictures she would make up stories to pretend they were her family’s. One time she texted me that picture from 20 years ago that looked like a hunter taking a trophy pic with a wolf behind him nobody realized was there, except she claimed he was her friend and made up a story about what happened to him after the picture. She also made up a bunch of stories about her kids that were all based on viral videos of other kids.

That’s not a mid life crisis… that’s straight-up mental illness.

One of my good buddies is going through one. Had a great life, good job, wife, and two boys. Midlife hit him and he freaked out because all he has ever done is sit in a cubicle and be in a relationship. Blew it all up.

I’ve always wanted a 911. I mean since I was 7-8 years old. So, I don’t see getting one at age 55 as a sign of a midlife crisis.

My ex bolted so I started dating attractive women. My job didn’t change although I moved to FL (NOT on the beach) to make it easier to get to work.

I’ve always been aware of my mortality (airplanes will try to kill you every so often) so, it’s not like I woke up at 45 in a panic.

I’m kind of at the point where I can see walking away from flying. ( I never thought that would happen.) So, I’m mentally prepared for that in a few years. I’m ready to chill.

I stick to vintage 4 wheel drive trucks instead of sports cars.  I’ve had a couple fast cars and was lucky I didn’t lose my license then.  Now I’ve got too much to lose to be doing stupid stuff in a car and get locked up.  Not to mention I think I’m actually less responsible now than I used to be when I was younger.  Comes with being all out of Fs to give.  

The closest one Ive dealt with is the itch to get a Durango SRT or SRT Hellcat

Theres a few local for sale, and they have me twitching

Plus its a 3 row SUV for the family, and has a hitch to pull the boat. So still practical and not just fast

I don't think of it as reliving youth, but if you've put your own interests on hold for 20 years, there's a fair chance you might just pick up where you left off.

I don't know if I would classify it as a "crisis," but two years ago I decided to change my lifestyle.  One of my best friends had some major health problems and that scared me straight.  I stopped drinking, started watching caloric intake, and began rowing on an erg.  Fast forward to now (I'm 50) and I've lost over 70 lbs, off of BP meds, can row a sub 19 minute 5K.  I've also taken a crew rowing class, got a new position at work, sold $4k worth of stuff I accumulated over the years, and feel better than I have in years.  I also stopped worrying about things that I have little to no control over of and started to really focus on what I could, being mainly myself and family.

I kind of already had my MLC in my late 20's. Wife and I were DINKs with decent jobs. I went and bought a used S2000. I had wanted one since they were announced in 1999. Favorite vehicle I've ever had, but I had to sell it 4 years later to fund the minivan because our 3rd and final kid was on the way.

I'll turn 40 in 2027. NGL, I wouldn't mind having another one for sunset cruises...

A little melanotan 2 will help with that tanning, and keep your time in the bed minimal.  Actually outside sunlight will help greatly and probably be better with that, just saying......

Ugh, I know. My son ran some mt2 for a little bit. I've considered it. Truth is I ran into some chest acne and I've been trying to clear it up. Nothing too serious but I'm trying to nip it now. A lot of people in my situation said tanning was greatly beneficial.

Our daughter bought a S2000 last year. Not my cup o' tea, but it's a neat car.

Here's mine:



Hit my milestones before getting her. House paid off, kids' colleges funded, no credit card or loan debts of any kind.

It's the moment when you realize you can't do the things you used to do that really fucks with you.  Maybe you have regrets about what you missed, or maybe you just don't want the party to stop, but faced with such a thing, I can understand the need to hold on to any little piece you can put your hands on.  Maybe that means doing something reckless, or buying something for yourself that you couldn't afford when you were younger.  Maybe it means putting the color back in your hair and getting a girlfriend that was born when you were in college.  It's all just a coping mechanism to remember what it was like to be young.  

this.  you come to an age where you realize that you don't have an unlimited future, so you have to make choices about what you want to do.

you also stop worrying so much about what other people think is cool, and start really leaning into what you think is cool.  

this is how yellow porsches happen.

I think it's less "oh shit my life is halfway over" and more "I can finally afford all the cool shit I've always wanted".

I'll be 40 next year. I'll let you know how it goes

What I'll call my dads (early 60's) version of a midlife crisis, was jumping into the offroad world with me in 2019. At the time I had a RZR 800 that I was going to replace after the season with a RZR highlifter until he showed up with a CanAm X3 one day. About a month later I bought a twin to his, and we've been going on several trips a year since. The wildest part, my mother actually enjoys these trips rocking the passenger seat!

After year 1 the expense of this sport was realized, and now I get reminded about how if he ever knew how much money he would get into this toy he'd never have jumped in, but now it's too fun to stop. I agree, it'd probably have been cheaper to maintain a cocaine habit.

I don't think that is what the feeling is, at least not for me.  In my case it is more of daily dealing with aches and pains of every injury, plus just regular stiff joints and sore muscles which makes me realize that I have physically peaked, it is all down hill from this point, and I need to make the most of the few remaining years where I am still able to do almost everything I want to do...just slower.  

tldr; realizing I need to make the most of remaining good years not thinking I'm 20 again.

Neat is a good description. They aren't fast compared to most other modern offerings, but they're Hondas, you can put the top down, and you can whip them around a turn.

I have to stop talking about them or I will definitely have another MLC S2000 in 3 years.

Yeah, you can always tell who “gets it” and who doesn’t… I’ve done my fair share of razzing 40-and 50-somethings for the obligatory Miata, but there’s a lot of other aspects to it that can really suck sometimes. And that’s not something I’ll give anyone any shit for.

There are aspects to life that you can only learn by living them, and people should count their blessings if their “crisis” at mid-life only includes a sporty car because you earned a little something for yourself.

My wife and I are 40 this year, and that’s kinda how we see it.

Yesterday was a good example of what we’ve built and how we’re enjoying it. We started off by skipping church to volunteer at a soup kitchen. For once, we actually did serve soup, but we do it about once a month and it varies. Their coffee maker was broken again, so I ordered a new one for them on Amazon and ran over to Dunkin’ to get coffee for the morning crowd.

After we locked up there I ran to the local diner to get a table while my wife took the kids to pick up her grandmother. She’s 93 - while fragility comes with that age, she’s lucid and active, and we get her out of the nursing home as often as we can. Her parents arrived at the same time she did, and walked in just as our name was called to be seated. We had a nice, long lunch. My in-laws tried to chip in $40 for lunch, which of course I refused after thanking them. Then I got in my Jeep, my wife loaded up the kids and her grandma in her minivan SUV, my in-laws got in their little sedan, and we left. I went home to stream for a couple of hours, my wife dropped off her grandmother and took our girls to my parents’ place to work with their show pigs. We didn’t all get home and done with our day until about 9pm, at which point we decided we didn’t want to cook and ordered delivery instead.

I get that a lot of people would look at the above and feel trapped. I don’t - I feel free. I dropped $200 that morning during our volunteer shift. I spent $120 on lunch. I, my wife, and my in-laws all drove away from the diner in reliable vehicles that we enjoy and fit our needs. All three of those vehicles were purchased in my name, and the titles to all three are filed away in my office. We came home to a comfortable home that, while mortgaged, was purchased for less than my annual income. Today, like very day, I’m sitting in my office working at a job that I like in a field that I’m passionate about. I work when and where I want, and I make enough to make all of the above happen.

We’re not debt-free. We could be, but decided pursuing that right now just isn’t worth what we’d have to sacrifice.

Think about this way: I put about $400 on my AmEx yesterday. I get paid twice a month, and usually have about $200 “left over” that I transfer into savings. We’re not rich, but we sure as hell ain’t poor. Our goals are stability, then comfort, then building wealth. I think we’re doing it right.

Could we be “rich”? Probably. Our girls are 10 and 15 right now. If we had saved every last penny for the past 15 years and focused hard on investments and passive income, we’d probably have around $2m in the bank and would be able to pull about $50k / year out without touching the principle by now.

Instead, we put enough in my 401k to be on track to retire at 60 and have put the rest into making our lives and the lives of those around us better. It feels good to be able to treat the people at that soup kitchen to name-brand coffee any way they wanted it. It felt good to be just hop on Amazon and know the people that run the place will get a delivery tomorrow with a new commercial coffee maker that can handle the volume they make and will last for years. It felt good to be able to enjoy spending time with family and not worry about the price of lunch. Maybe it’s mere sinful pride, but I do enjoy watching my in-laws leave the restaurant in a car they take care of because it’s the first new vehicle they’ve ever owned, knowing I bought it for them.

.. but I don’t think so. I look back to when I was 18-20, when I lost a full scholarship to a state university and was diagnosed with ADHD and depression, and think how far I’ve come. I look back to when I proposed to my wife on the floor of our unfurnished shitty little apartment and think about how she said yes, even though I only had a $15 fake-ass ring that I bought online and we didn’t know where we were going to get rent that month, and I think about how happy it makes me that we’ve not only survived - but that we’re still in love, and closer to each other now than we’ve ever been. I look at our girls and see the people they’re becoming and the values they hold. My wife’s grandmother is the last living member of her generation in either of our families; I’m comforted to know that she will pass confident that her descendants are doing well and that her great-grandchildren have a brighter future than she could have imagined at that age. My parents are financially set, but hers have been poor their entire lives; while I see hope for more when we’re their age, it’s extremely gratifying to know that they aren’t worried that they’re going to be hungry and homeless. We’re here for them and will make sure that doesn’t happen. I’m here for them.

Nah. I’m just not the mid-life crisis type I guess. When I look around at my life, I don’t feel trapped. The debt I have is easily manageable, and even if I lost the ability to generate income tomorrow, we’d be able to consolidate some things, maybe downsize a bit, and pay it all off. The worst likely financial case I can foresee is that I’d spend my twilight years puttering around a little house somewhere with my wife, fixing shit that annoys her while she works in her garden and clips coupons. Hell, that sounds great to me.

Would it be fun to go out and buy a new Corvette, find some young, impressionable girl that’s impressed enough when I pay her bills to suck me off, and spend the next few years blowing through my savings living that life? Of course it would! But it doesn’t hold a candle to the actual, true happiness I have found through my family and the life that we’ve built. No thanks.

Money doesn’t buy happiness, but you can use it to make enough space to build happiness yourself. A fat bank balance is a good thing; a life well-lived is better. If I’m on my deathbed with $0.05 to my name, surrounded by my descendants who are functional adults taking care of their own families, I’ll pull that last nickel from behind my great-grandkid’s ear and die with a smile on my face and peace in my heart.